aLL[Y]SOn ®

Few weeks back, I was telling a few of my friends and my mentor that I wanted to change church..going back to my first church…I’m currently worshipping in Wesley Methodist Church Penang, a church which I have been going for the past 3 years…

Reason I wanted to change church? – too long a story to be told, so yeah, I’ll leave it to next time… neway, below is what I wanna share most :

Last weekend (8 Sept) my church,

Wesley

Methodist

Church

had a youth rally/concert,  it is an outdoor concert and being organized by the youth in the church, basically the Joshua House youth (Joshua House = name of the youth group)..The concert was really great, the youth put in lots of effort in organizing it, they have been preparing for the last 6 months and been practicing all this while…a great job and I thank God for the passion that the youth have.. To me, I’m proud of them, they never give up and their passion, desire, love for God never burn out tho I know, they are tire sometimes…well, to KimBeng, Val, Sunn, Dennis, Lawrence, Deborah, Cordilia, Cho, Lawrence, Victor, Christina, Cherly, Veronica, Benjamin, KeanChai and everyone who are involved, I LOVE you guys and you guys are great…thanks for holding on to this vision and God.. Thanks for realizing this rally, thanks for not giving up, thanks for persevering till the end, thanks for EVERYTHING!!! Thanks for having the burden to bring the people to God and back to God.. Im really proud of you guys…seeing your hard work, reminds me of UNITY.. Something which every youth group, church, CG or organization needs… let the UNITY to continue to be strong and hold us together in doing more for God…

For those who are involved in the rally, you’ve done a GREAT job! And everyone is PROUD of all of you~ God, pastors, members, me, and everyone else…

Honestly, I didn’t help much in this event..and I regretted it, because I know, I miss out lots of fun and learning opportunities…as well as the chance to be closer to the youth, my family members. Nonetheless, God is good, He gave me the chance at the last few weeks…

I helped out in setting up the backstage, and being a kpc during their meeting, hehe…

Setting up the back stage was fun, full of laughter, jokes, teasing each other, learning and of course bring me closer to the youth… again, as I look at all the committees who has helped out in this event, it reminded me of unity and how we used to be so close last time. . .I miss the time where we were so close and had a lot of fun together.. I guess, and I know, along the way, I’ve and I am the one who has “bring” myself out of the group, putting a distance between myself and them…

Nonetheless, I thank God for last weekend where I can offer as much help to them as possible (tho everything has been done and set up) and I truly appreciate those time…I know I missed out a lot, but hey…a little time to a part of it is better than nothing right?

As I look at the band practicing the songs, again, I’m happy and proud of them; it shows their love for God, and God’s creation, God’s people and the rest of the community. Although they have to go thru some tough time (I assume they have ) they never give up, although they are tire, they never quit because they still hold on to the vision, to bring God’s people back and to reach out to the rest of the people, especially youth, who have yet to know Christ and those who have backslide…

To the ALIVE committee (ALIVE is the theme of the rally/concert), thank you all for your passion, love and your spirit of-not-giving-up…I’m sure you all can see that your hard work doesn’t go in vain as 20++ youth rededicate their life to God and 8 youth come to accept Christ… remember this; that although the rally is over, this is the beginning, because the seed has been planted and it needs to be watered…thanks for being ready for God and willing to be a part of His plan…

One more thing that touches my heart was when I saw one of the youth’s mum holding her son’s hand and lift her hands up as they worship the Lord. AMAZING isn’t it? The parents used to go against Christianity and against their son’s believe, but because of the son’s prayers and love for his family and his firm stand for God, his mum, on that night (the first time I seen) worship the Lord with the rest of the people. I saw her holding her son’s hand and lift her hands up in worship and I can see from her expression as she closes her eyes to worship, she can feel the presence and love of God in her and I know that she knows; Christ is real and is there… what a beautiful moment…

Thank God for all these, for He is the one who made it possible, we were chosen by Him to be a part of this and thank God for He has given us the chance to experience Him and His work… The rally will serve as a reminder to myself and the youth that God is LOVE, God is ALIVE, God is REAL, and through God, as we obey Him, all is POSSIBLE.

Well, going back to changing church, as this rally reminds me of the people, the youth and the church who has been a part of my life, and family to me…one question pop into my mind, do I really want to change church? If the problem is resolve, I wouldn’t want to because I really love this place very much and I know if I were to change church, I’ll miss them a lot…

Anyway, changing church is not about feeling. It should not be about feeling; it is about where God wants us to be and where God want us to serve Him best… so, I’ll continue to seek Him and see where He want me to be, as for the meantime, I suppose I will be in Wesley…

It’s been so long since i last post a blog..hehe..been busy actually…oh well, here’s another blog from me…. 7 Sept 07

Someone told me 2 days ago that my life is boring…

I don’t know what makes him say that…

Oh well, I know actually…

He said my life is boring because I always go to church and help out in church

I didn’t feel offended with his statement but I just told him that everyone has different way of enjoying life

To him, church is boring

To him, going to church is nothing

To him, my church has very different philosophies and thinking

But to me,

Church is fun

To me, going to church gave me peace

To me, going to church makes me feel very much at home

To me, going to church and getting along with youth, make me feel happy

It’s like a place for me to feel secure and be who I am

I suppose not everyone will understand that

Well, I didn’t expect him to understand it as well

Maybe I did say something that gave bad impression about my church, I don’t know

(I’m sorry God if there’s any, please forgive me)

But I feel that everyone has different ways of enjoying life

We don’t need alcohol or wine or a sport car to enjoy life

We can enjoy life in many many different ways

I have friends who enjoy life by staying at home, spending time with their parents

I have friends who enjoy life by talking and crapping

I have friends who enjoy life by making people laugh

I have friends who enjoy life by helping his @ her friends

I have friends who enjoy life by playing computer games

I have friends who enjoy life by singing

I also have friends who enjoy life by serving in church

And many more

So, there’s sooooooo many different ways of enjoying life

Why wanna judge other people’s life as boring just because their ways of enjoying life is different from yours?

Well, at the end of the conversation, he said he is just joking, don’t wanna kacau me anymore, else I’ll get angry…

Well, to me, I feel sad because people don’t seems to understand why some Christian enjoy life being in church and that there’re many other way to enjoy life, not just alcohol and party…

Btw, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t say that his way of enjoying life is wrong, it is not wrong and everyone can enjoy life as much as they want and in whichever way they want…. J

I went for follow up in the hospital today (15 August), and well, guess what? Haha…I’ve FULLY RECOVERED!!!! Whee~~~ Praise God and Thank God…also, thank all of you for your continuous prayers, hehe…I can’t thank you all enough, but you know what? Your reward is in heaven >.<

Well, according to doctor, I’m totally fine, “out-of-danger-zone”, no more damage to the body, and I don’t need to see him anymore..means, there’s no need for follow up anymore…last month, he told me I might need to see him in the next 3 months, but now, he said that I don’t need to see him anymore..

Well, he is happy and I am REJOICING!!! Hahaha… he said this is a good news, I said this is a MIRACLE, a miracle that only God can do, only God can bring and only God can allow.

I’m glad that I’m still alive today and I’m still able to be healthy as ever…seeing me is like seeing the normal me right? Haha..never seems to have gone thru whatever that I’ve gone thru right?

Well, that’s why I said, this is a miracle…

One question I asked my friends these few days, “Do you think you are a miracle?” Why do I ask this question? Because I feel that I am..and I know that YOU are too…

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

i was looking thru my friendster and saw this picture that i grabbed from lawrence…Gosh~ time flies!!!!! look at this picture…we’ve CHANGED… haha…tubs changed(side way), chus changed(hiow-er adi), nana changed(hair style), momo changed(so IN now), joni changed (like superstar now), charmaine(more wise), surain(side way), lawrence(side way), kimbeng(dont look that nerdy anymore), aimee (prettier), allyson a.k.a me (prettier now*ahem*[aiseh, self praise in no praise right?] haha)…then the rest…no change…jared (still as cool), yen(still as blur), ithie(still as pao), johanan(still da same,as blur), dennis (his hair is still curly),david (still as bamboo), joshua and amy (still brother and sister,hahaha,or else?)

Edwin sent me an email this afternoon (2 August)..a short and simple email which contains truth and ords of encouragment, bring tears to my eyes as i read it…few lines that caught my attention the most are this :

"there’ll always be struggle faced along the way as you re-adjust your life but remember to stand up when you fall…to kneel when your knees weak."

and

"God allow us to pass through events to shape us and we in turn help others."

the words, to kneel when your knees weak is so true..that means to PRAY

and the words, we in turn help others is also true because i know very well, what i’ve been thru will be use by God as well, as a testimony or sharing of experience…

so, yeah…thanks ed! (:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

Thursday nite (2 August). . .we were suppose to have sister’s prayer but since no one is around (onli val and i are around), so we decided to have dinner together.. and since daniel is also free and he also invited some of us for dinner,so at the end of it, we decided to have dinner together… i brought daniel and val to batu feringhi to a bistro called sunset bistro..dont get me wrong, we didnt go there for alcohol, they serves food there as well and the reasons why we went there was for the ambience and it is directly opposite the sea!!! yeah..nice place, if we go early, we can even see sunset..hahaha..

well, it was a good nite as val, daniel and i had some good discussion…things on church, spiritual life, relationships and stuff..it’s been a long time since i talk to people about all these, so yeah, i was really glad that God bring us there that night…with the cool breeze, sounds of the waves hitting the rock and sand, some music, candles, food, great people…it was a great nite…

that’s not all, we were there for about 2 hours plus…then since we’re all not full and still hungry, we headed for burger…hehehe…

eat none stop…

had not-so-bad food…

have great people around…

had great time at the end of it…

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

Tonight was a great night out, a night full of laughters, jokes, nonsense, and craps..hahaha.. it’s been a long time since i laugh till i almost drop, i mean it..it’s fun..with all the jokes from daniel and gene…hahaha

well, the night start with dinner at ismail ikan bakar, full of teasing and jokes as well…also, stupid made-up-on-the-spot-story..thanks to the 2 jokers from intel…hahaha half way thru dinner, hanwei came and join us..well, the laughter goes on…

stories about my "so-called" husband (i dont know who), fish, poilitics, religions, sotong, people…bla..bla..bla..

then, suddenly i got a call from siao hui jie..she updated me about one of our friends..well, i guess, im glad to have her and her husband around us, at least, they are good people..i just hope that he will be protected from bad people, he will not be influence easily and he will be mature enough to think also i hope that he will listen to siao hui jie and her husband..anyway, let’s not talk about that…

then, we moved from ismail ikan bakar to queens..hahaha…we crap and tease each other non-stop..hahaha..i was literally laughing and laughing and laughing…i guess everyone in hanwei’s car had fun.. (:

well, oh also, while the rest are waiting to pay the bill, i brought daniel for a walk around queens, hehe..one of the shop we went into? …XIXILI!!!! pretending to buy their products, discussing about the design..so funny …LOL..then we went to nike..pretending again…hahaha

then, dennis, ben, gene, hanwei are there to pay the bill, lawrence came and auntie evelyn and family… farnee lawrence with all da jokes..this fellow going to KL tmr…ceh~~~syoknye…

anyway, it was really a great nite, oh, then we went to the so called seaside in front of agilent to chat and eat..hehehe..again, all the stupid jokes as husband and wife, bf and gf, darling  ang honey came out again… HAHAHA..lolzzzzzz…and lawrence, you’re in the story as well (as someone’s darling)….kekeke

I thank God for this great night, it was fun, and i really enjoy it…that’s why i blog about it..wanna keep it as a memory…and i thank God for the people He brought into my life…i love them all and appreciate each and everyone of them… (:

Wheee~~~enjoying my life right now…

**Praise God from whom all blessings flow**

Like i said in my previous blogs, many things happened to me in the last few months..many are downs but there’re also ups.. the ups moments are really sweet and joyful..but then the downs comes, it is bitter and tough…

Nonetheless, i do not want to emphasis too much on what had happened, after all it is the past, but i believe, what i’ve gone thru, will one day be used by God. . .

Throughout this few months, especially the last few weeks, eversince i was sick and came back "alive" , God had taught me a lot of stuff…like what Samuel said " You actually gain from this incident " …well, samuel, i must agree with you… i actually, eventually, learned a lot from this incident..

i’ve actually gained myself a close friend, a good friend i will say (not sure if you will agree, but i just wanna say that you’re one of my close friend now..) thanks for supporting me, in prayer and in crapping, in listening to my problems, and to lean me your shoulder, a pair of listening ears, praying for me with or without me knowing it, temaning me here and there, tho sometimes, your schedule are pack and you’re busy and you’re tire,… im really glad to have a friend like you…you helped me stand after a deep fall and honestly, i do listen to you..so yeah, thanks for your friendship…i really really appreciate it…thanks sam…

Not only gaining myself a close friend, God also showed me, the people who are truly my close friends and my family, people who care and love me…the list? below…

Many people i need to thank and my list will go on and on and on…but, nonetheless, i wanna thank all of you, i know all of you have been supporting me, especially in prayers with or without me knowing it, i thank God for He put you in my life…

1. My family and siblings : you all love me despite of what happened, you all didnt force me into telling what had happened, and you all traveled all the way down to find me and support me..i love you all..thanks 2nd sis, bro, elder sis, mum and dad…

2. Pik Nooi : for visiting me early in the morning, and come after work, i know you have  pack schedule, but you and jeremy came, bcx you guys care for me, sharing my burden and advising me, whether in spiritual life or health

3. William and Foong Yeng: for being there for me from the very beginning, overseeing me from head to toe, listening to my problems and for taking care of me when i overnight at your place, for cooking for me(nice food), for praying for me and foong yeng, you are great, i still rmbr you coming to my side and say " it’s okay, you dont have to say anything, im just here for you"…that, is what i needed sometimes..thanks

3. Margaret, Angela, Theresa : thanks for treating me as your family, thanks for visiting me most of the days

4. Samuel : thanks for visiting me after your show and talk to me till midnight, luckily, you didnt kena chase out, with all the craps and nonsense and seriuos stuff that we talked about, it actually lessen my heartache and cheer me up, i sleep well every night after you visited me, you’re a great friend

5. My dearest housemate, florence :  thanks for getting all my stuff for me, like i told samuel, you’re a very organise and systematic person, thanks for supporting me by being there, seeing me sleeping (hehe) and in prayers…i love you..gonna miss you lots if you were to move…thanks for visiting me, and really really thank you for preparing everything for me…without your great help, i dont know how to survive there…

6. Val, Kean Chai, Wei Yen : thanks for your prayers and sms-es, appreciate it very much… Val, thanks…thanks for all your prayers and your love for me.. i know, you’ll alwiz be there for me when i needed someone…thanks Val..i dont know how to express my thanks, but you know what? your sms and dimsum actually blessed me and encourages me…

7. Benji : Ah…thank God for you bro…truly, it is a blessing to know you, your words for me…helped me a lot to stand up again..truly, you’re a warrior for God..thanks for your encouragement and words, without it, i might still be the "fallen-allyson"… but now, im up and going again…

8. Jared : Thanks for being there for me too, i appreciate it… not sure how to thank you, but i guess the best way is to wish you all the best in your future and well, she’s a great girl.. wish you all the blessing from God…thanks for the songs and psalm too…

9. Yupei, Marcus, KimBeng, Cordelia, Celia, Veronica, HanWei, Surain, Nana, Cherly, Auntie Evelyn, Catherine, Lawrence, Ithie, Debs, Aiching, Dennis : i know the prayers that you guys said for me..thank you, without it, i am not where i am today..thanks for the shoudler and arms and hugs for me to cry on…

10. Pozzi : for your sms all the way from US..bring a smile to my face when i see it (:

11. Pao Sium : thanks for your sms on batman begins and "not-giving-up-on-yourself"… truly pao…that sms..i will remember always…

12. Saik Ee, Steven Shum, Say Leong, Bee Ling : arigato for visiting me and helping me thru all these..you guys are great and thanks for your listening ears, advices and time… i know that anytime, anywhere, when i needed any of you guys, you all will definitely be there for me..i know you guys will never disappoint me..so yeap..thank God for all of you…

13. My friend, CheeWooi : who scolded me and at the same time, not wanting to bring me from the carpark to clinic!.. (haha)

Last sunday, during worship (29 July), God reminded me of what had happened, and again i was reminded of His promises for me, at the same time, He reminded me of the people whom was there to support me throughout these few weeks and I THANK GOD for each and everyone of you… indeed, without you guys, im still "i-dont-know-where"…because of your love, care, concern, support, prayer,smses, etc for me, i’m still here today… i asked God to bless each and everyone of you back, double and even more, to protect all of you and to take care of all of you…

**Praise God from whom all blessing flows**

Please……..move on…because I already am moving on…

We can’t stand in the middle of the road, it’s either we step forward and don’t look back anymore or look back and make a U turn…we can’t stand in the middle…

But, for me…I choose to move forward, I’ve already move on…

So please…..move on…

One of the sms i get from my friend, Pao Sium, about 3 weeks back, maybe on 11 or 12 July…

She said " Boon, do you rmbr one of the Batman Begins 05/06 movie, where Christian Bale acted in it? One of the line he asked, " Do you know why we fall?" and he replied to his own question, he said, " So that we can pick ourselves up again"…

Then another line that came with the sms was " Boon, don’t you ever give up on yourself." As i read this sms, i cried, tears kept rolling down my cheeks, i cried non stop, the tears kept rolling because this sentence just struck me ~"dont you ever give up on yourself"…even right now, thinking and writing about it, makes my eyes watery…thanks Pao..thanks for this sms..thanks for making me realize that i shouldn’t…thanks for "bringing senses" to me thru this sms…thanks for telling me, not to give up on myself…i will not..because i know i shouldn’t, because i know my friends didnt give up on me, because i know my family didn’t give up on me and most importantly, i know He will never give up on me..not on you, not on me..He never give up on us…